#JillOfAllTradesConfessions: Hilarious conversations with children are the best part of my job. Here's one from today.
Child: Uhh, Miss Kristy, your eyes look weird today.
Miss Kristy: *conspiratorial whisper* Thank you. It's because I have bat poop on my eyelashes. *flutters mascara-laden lashes*
Child: Bat poop, wait, what? No, your EYES look weird. Like sparkly or shiny somehow. (Oh my gosh, I LOVE this kiddo!)
Miss Kristy: I know. It's because I'm wearing mascara today, and I normally don't.
Frustrated Child: No, I am NOT looking at your eyelashes. Your eyes look different.
Miss Kristy: Normally my eyelashes are blonde and you don't notice them, so you don't notice my eyes. But today, I have on mascara and it makes you notice my lashes, which draws attention to my eyes.
Child: Why do women wear that gunk on their faces? (Have I mentioned I adore this child? Bless him!)
Miss Kristy: Because we want men to look at us and think we are pretty. And you just did, so see? It works! *triumphant fist pump*
Child: Uhh, Miss Kristy, your eyes look weird today.
Miss Kristy: *conspiratorial whisper* Thank you. It's because I have bat poop on my eyelashes. *flutters mascara-laden lashes*
Child: Bat poop, wait, what? No, your EYES look weird. Like sparkly or shiny somehow. (Oh my gosh, I LOVE this kiddo!)
Miss Kristy: I know. It's because I'm wearing mascara today, and I normally don't.
Frustrated Child: No, I am NOT looking at your eyelashes. Your eyes look different.
Miss Kristy: Normally my eyelashes are blonde and you don't notice them, so you don't notice my eyes. But today, I have on mascara and it makes you notice my lashes, which draws attention to my eyes.
Child: Why do women wear that gunk on their faces? (Have I mentioned I adore this child? Bless him!)
Miss Kristy: Because we want men to look at us and think we are pretty. And you just did, so see? It works! *triumphant fist pump*
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