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     A brilliant friend of mine (Hi Amy) called her new boyfriend a 'gentleman savage' on Facebook this week, and it struck a chord ...

Saturday, October 24, 2015

And Just Like That... {Week 14 Update}

Dan is gone.

This was a full and busy week. Not that most aren't, but this one even more so due to birthday party invites, being sick for 36 hours, and back to back weekends of Magic Tourney/TV series marathon. Good stuff, but lots of work. This mama is worn OUT!
In the good news department, this means I didn't have time to miss Dan because I was a headless chicken for most of the week.
In the really good news department, Dan has lost so much weight that he has dropped a pants size and is looking A-MAZ-ING! All you ladies stay away from my handsome hubby!
In the bad news department, this means I didn't have time to miss Dan. And any day that I don't have TIME to miss my husband is a day that is too full. Period.
In the worse news department, I am starting to feel a bit distanced from him. Like he's gotten on with the business of living without me as a daily part of his life, and like I am doing the same. Some of this is natural, because we ARE apart and we have to still function. But when the wound doesn't hurt anymore, it's not a wound...it's a scar. And scars don't heal. :(
Please pray for us that the lines of communication will stay open, that he will continue to fight to stay part of our lives, and that the desire to once again be a complete family unit will stay strong.Thanksgiving can't come soon enough.
~Lonely Only in NM~

Tuesday, October 20, 2015

Look What I Did!

So, this happened. :)
Yep, I joined Planet Fitness this weekend. Dan is a member and totally loves it, so I figured I would give it a try. Pat will be my normal workout buddy, and we will go as often as we can when David is home. When D can't make it home at a reasonable hour, I'll have to go by myself or find another buddy to take, but it's a start. I'm too cheap to let my whole $20 go to waste, so that is just extra motivation, right?
 I've decided that I will never be good at working out at home. And that's not a character flaw, I'm just busy and often distracted, and always interrupted, so if I need to join a gym to get my workouts done, then let's do that.
We've been a few times already and I"m really enjoying it. I'm trying ALL. THE. THINGS.
Treadmills? Check
Ellipticals? Check
Stair Climbers? Heck NO
Weight lifting machines? Check
30 minute cardio circuit? Check
Hydro-massage? Check
Recumbent Bikes? Check
Total Body Enhancement thing a ma bobber? Check
I'll keep you posted on the long term results  :)


Saturday, October 17, 2015

And Just Like That... {Week 13 Update}

Dan is gone.

This week has hurried on by in a flurry of activities and I didn't have time to dwell on missing Dan as much as I have been recently. A had 2.5 days off of school meaning I worked many extra hours, Columbus Day happened (upsetting my routines) and DT had a play date with a friend. DT and I worked hard on cleaning up the yard Tuesday evening, which also was a great night for a bonfire and s'mores with the BIGS. Sister-Girl Night was changed to Wednesdays in addition to Youth Group and Zero Gravity for the BIGS. DT and I started small group on Thursdays. Game Night on Friday, followed by a middle of the night trip to Wal-Mart that resulted in some new friends. And today we had Gym Magic, a haircut for ME, some random errands, a fun late lunch with the boys, and playing outside together. AND...Pat and I joined Planet Fitness. Phew. 
In the midst of all that; we included a breakfast with a friend, haircuts for EVERYONE ever, I read 2 books, kept up on a few cleaning/organizing challenges in the homemaking arena, had pizza and movies together, looked at apartments with DK and tried to get back to a good sleeping schedule (but I failed miserably on that point this week).
Overall, I think it's reasonably safe to say that while I continue to miss Dan, we have hit our stride. The ache is still there, but we are both learning to deal by making new friends or reconnecting with old friends, and staying busy.
Thanksgiving is just around the corner.
        ~Lonely Only in NM~

Saturday, October 10, 2015

And Just Like That... {Week 12 Update}

Dan is gone.

This week was weird for me. I had lots of feelings, and many I wasn't quite sure what to do with them. I was lonely and bored and irritable and overtired and well, I was actually a little angry at Dan this week. I KNOW that this isn't reality, but sometimes it feels like he's off on some vacation type thing. Practically no bills, no chores, no kids to parent, no wife to deal with, all while I"m here slaving away and doing EV-ER-Y-THING while he's away. Now, before I start getting lectures, I KNOW that is not reality. I get that he's working 60 hours a week, and on his one day "off" he's driving an hour to attend church and then helping a new friend build a house and he's completely exhausted. I KNOW that he's missing home, our friends, the boys, and even crazy old me. BUT, that's just how I felt this week. Also, Dan is a helper. So as he's calling me with helpful advice that I SHOULD appreciate, I find myself feeling micro-managed and even a bit like perhaps Dan thinks I can't do this on my own. (The irony is not lost on me that several times a day *I* wonder if I can do this alone but that is not the point. *ahem*)
I was also still processing the whole My-baby-is-now-a-MAN thing and that brought feelings that I would have really liked to share with Dan in person, not over the phone.
On the whole, in the practical areas, I feel like I'm getting the hang of this and I can do this for the long haul (Come quickly, summer of 2016) but I just miss him. I miss hanging out on the couch with him after dinner, I miss laughing over the antics our boys share with us, I miss snuggling together after a long day of parenting this brood and the several others that claim us as parents or long term care givers. I miss making his lunch in the mornings and sharing 5 whole minutes of child-free time with him each day. Blah. Being a grown up stinks sometimes. ;)
However, as I am often found to be saying, "...and it came to pass...". Someday, this season of change and growth will be but a distant memory.
Until next week,
    ~Lonely Only in NM~

Saturday, October 3, 2015

And Just Like That... {Week 11 Update}

Dan is gone.

I can't believe it's already been 11 weeks; 5 more than Dan has ever been gone for work, and 4 more than our time apart when we moved here. We are adjusting...slowly (especially me). But, things are improving. I am learning to set my boundaries without being a jerk about them. (In times past, I just let Dan set the boundaries and without him around I spent several weeks being a spineless sap) I am remembering skills I used to have that have been out of practice for 20 years. And I"m learning new skills, like how to trim the rose bushes that have been intimidating me since Dan left. I've trimmed them 3 times, and I think (I HOPE) I'm getting the hang of it. Pat and I have several 'successful' chats a week now, shoot, sometimes we have more than one a day. *grins* I am sleeping through the night on a regular basis, even though I'm still staying up later than I should. However, I think part of that is just to carve out some time for just me, since I"m the only one parenting these days and I NEED some child free time each evening. Overall, I think we are getting the hang of it. Dan has a roommate as of this week and I think he's not as lonely, at least that is why I'm telling myself he isn't calling quite as often. I am setting up some 'Daddy's Gone Traditions" like the boys and I go out to dinner on Thursday night, so that we all get to the table together once a week. We're still doing our pizza and movies on Sundays but that is pretty flexible and sometimes it just doesn't happen. So we're enjoying Thursday nights out to laugh and talk over a delicious dinner made my someone besides me. Having hilarious, handsome dinner dates every week doesn't hurt my feelings at all.
The biggest highlight of this week concerning Dan was we bought his plane ticket home for Thanksgiving so that is a FOR SURE visit coming up. Woot!
Biggest bummer concerning Dan this week is that today is David's birthday. His 18th birthday. Now, in case you don't know, David hates any attention that he doesn't intentionally invite, and birthdays are a HUGE no-no in the attention department. There is no celebration, no singing of the birthday song, no balloons, no gifts and in fact, he's working 11 hours today, so it's not so much that Dan being away will affect David's day so much. But our first child is becoming an adult today, and I can't share that with Dan. So boo to that.
Thanks for taking this journey with me. I'm growing so much it seems and blogging about it feels like the right choice.

Thursday, October 1, 2015

Pumpkin Patch 2015 (pic heavy)

 Ahh, the pumpkin patch.
Our favorite field trip of the year.
Our annual FIRST field trip.
Where Mama K takes the picture for our annual (or sometimes annual) Christmas cards/letters.
The boys always have so much fun, even the BIGS.
Mama K always has so much fun.
Good stuff.
Very Good Stuff.

Our local pumpkin patch, Lyle's Family Farm/Mesilla Valley Corn Maze is a family owned and operated charming place to spend a day. Hay rides, huge slides, panning for gold, rubber ducky races, enormous hamster wheels, cotton candy, and oh yes...pumpkins. And once you pay admission, nearly everything else besides the food is free. You can play all day and never get bored. At least my boys certainly can. :)
This year was no exception. David took some time off of work to join us which I thought was fantastic since he missed it last year. We met up with our local homeschooling group and enjoyed spending the day together. Miss Kathi was there with her kids and Little Carissa, and that was an added bonus. We had a ball.
I know you are all here for the pictures, so I'll stop waxing nostalgic and get on with the good stuff. LOL!


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