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Saturday, October 10, 2015

And Just Like That... {Week 12 Update}

Dan is gone.

This week was weird for me. I had lots of feelings, and many I wasn't quite sure what to do with them. I was lonely and bored and irritable and overtired and well, I was actually a little angry at Dan this week. I KNOW that this isn't reality, but sometimes it feels like he's off on some vacation type thing. Practically no bills, no chores, no kids to parent, no wife to deal with, all while I"m here slaving away and doing EV-ER-Y-THING while he's away. Now, before I start getting lectures, I KNOW that is not reality. I get that he's working 60 hours a week, and on his one day "off" he's driving an hour to attend church and then helping a new friend build a house and he's completely exhausted. I KNOW that he's missing home, our friends, the boys, and even crazy old me. BUT, that's just how I felt this week. Also, Dan is a helper. So as he's calling me with helpful advice that I SHOULD appreciate, I find myself feeling micro-managed and even a bit like perhaps Dan thinks I can't do this on my own. (The irony is not lost on me that several times a day *I* wonder if I can do this alone but that is not the point. *ahem*)
I was also still processing the whole My-baby-is-now-a-MAN thing and that brought feelings that I would have really liked to share with Dan in person, not over the phone.
On the whole, in the practical areas, I feel like I'm getting the hang of this and I can do this for the long haul (Come quickly, summer of 2016) but I just miss him. I miss hanging out on the couch with him after dinner, I miss laughing over the antics our boys share with us, I miss snuggling together after a long day of parenting this brood and the several others that claim us as parents or long term care givers. I miss making his lunch in the mornings and sharing 5 whole minutes of child-free time with him each day. Blah. Being a grown up stinks sometimes. ;)
However, as I am often found to be saying, "...and it came to pass...". Someday, this season of change and growth will be but a distant memory.
Until next week,
    ~Lonely Only in NM~

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