Saturday, November 21, 2015

Catching UP with Us Meyer's

Catching up with us these days is getting harder and harder. Let's see if a brief synopsis will suffice for the past few months as an overview.

July: Mom went to IL for an extended trip. My Aunt Janet (Dad's sister) passed away and Mom made the trip to Massachusetts for the funeral and then back to IL. Dan left for an extended work assignment in Iowa and will be gone somewhere between 8-12 MONTHS. (don't ask) He got to pop over to IL one of the weekends and surprise his mama and brothers at the Walter's Family Reunion.

August: Derek turned 10 and joined the double digit club. Dan and I celebrated (separately) our 19th wedding anniversary. Mom returned from IL just in time to welcome Uncle Jerry and Aunt Marion for a quick visit in Cruces and then joined them for a visit to Idaho. Once she was finished visiting the family in Idaho, she drove through Cali on the way home to visit Dolli, RyRy and Wyatt. Tony Bean got married, and even after we'd said we couldn't come, Dan made it to the wedding and had a great time.

September: I spent 8 glorious days in Iowa with Dan to actually celebrate our anniversary. 8 days + hunky hubby + no responsibilities + first kidless week together in 18 years = BEST VACAY EVER. Period. Mom stayed with the boys (thanks Mom!) Mom them packed up and moved back to IL. I miss her desperately. We purchase Dan's plane ticket home for Thanksgiving. Pat and Derek start school.

October: David turned 18 and joined the newly adult club. (Mama K has feelings about that) Pat and David seriously consider a trip to Iowa but determine that now is not the best time. Joshua turns 27. David quits second job in favor of taking on more hours at first job. Fall Festival (I did a trunk this year) is a smashing success serving more than 8,000 people from our community. 

November: Renaissance Faire comes to Las Cruces. I opt to only volunteer one day so that I can enjoy the Faire for one of the days. Our church again does Feed My Starving Children Manna Packs. David moves out of our house and into Jay, Rachel and Maddie's apartment. Pat signs up to get his driver's permit. Hannah Ruoss comes to visit for 5 days. Patrick decides to get baptized the weekend that Dan is home for the Rio Grande. (Brr!)  Kimberly makes plans to come visit in December. Dan decides that for Christmas, he will drive home and take Pat back with him (hooray for online school) Mama K opts for a non-traditional Thanksgiving meal of Dragon Soup, green bean casserole and pre-made pies so she can spend the extra time with Dan while he's home for Thanksgiving. Derek and Mama start making holiday plans and switch to Unschooling until after the New Year. 

See what I mean? I thought having a house full of littles was tiring and super fun. And it was. But in a completely different way than having a house full (and now not so full) of BIGS can be exhausting, exhilarating and exciting all in one day.
Thanks for trying to keep up with us. Goodness knows I can barely keep up and I live here. :)
Oh, and one more thing. For those of you not on FB (but isn't everyone these days?) my hair has undergone a small transition since Dan's departure in July. In July my hair looked like this.

In August and the first part of Sept, it looked like this.

In late September and October, it looked like this. 

And now in November, it looks like this. 

And Just Like That... {Week 18 Update}

Dan is gone.

This is hard. Hard to do on my own. Hard to process. Hard to handle. Hard to keep my head above water some days. But it's a season of growth/change and I'm trying to embrace it. I'm learning more than ever that I must take care of me so I can continue to care for others. I am learning that it's OK to put off housework and even schoolwork occasionally in the name of a much needed visit from a friend for some chatter, some tea and some prayer to keep me fighting the good fight. I've learned/remembered that I like pretty nails. I've also remembered that proper sleep habits are essential to keeping myself emotionally on an even keel. (still working on this one) Healthful eating also helps, but at the end of the day, here is my version of reality.

Dan has been gone 18 weeks. (Say that over again to yourself, really slowly and let it sink in)

Eighteen weeks.
126 days. 
3024 hours. 
181,440 minutes. And every single one of those minutes felt like a short eternity.
Now that you know I'm the most pathetic woman alive, let me tell you what else you should know about me.
That I CAN do this. That God is holding my hand and leading me down this path. And that the very same God that is holding my hand and giving me strength is also holding Dan's. We are all together on this journey. Hopefully someday, we'll be able to look back at this time that feels like a big fat mess right now as a period of immense growth. Not only in our journey as a married couple, but as individuals growing closer to our God. God is so good. He's protecting us (sometimes even from ourselves) as we jumble and stumble and bumble our way through this world. Separately for now, but soon enough back together again. May he continue to weave our hearts together in the combined pursuit of His glory.

Not as lonely as I thought in NM,

Saturday, October 24, 2015

And Just Like That... {Week 14 Update}

Dan is gone.

This was a full and busy week. Not that most aren't, but this one even more so due to birthday party invites, being sick for 36 hours, and back to back weekends of Magic Tourney/TV series marathon. Good stuff, but lots of work. This mama is worn OUT!
In the good news department, this means I didn't have time to miss Dan because I was a headless chicken for most of the week.
In the really good news department, Dan has lost so much weight that he has dropped a pants size and is looking A-MAZ-ING! All you ladies stay away from my handsome hubby!
In the bad news department, this means I didn't have time to miss Dan. And any day that I don't have TIME to miss my husband is a day that is too full. Period.
In the worse news department, I am starting to feel a bit distanced from him. Like he's gotten on with the business of living without me as a daily part of his life, and like I am doing the same. Some of this is natural, because we ARE apart and we have to still function. But when the wound doesn't hurt anymore, it's not a's a scar. And scars don't heal. :(
Please pray for us that the lines of communication will stay open, that he will continue to fight to stay part of our lives, and that the desire to once again be a complete family unit will stay strong.Thanksgiving can't come soon enough.
~Lonely Only in NM~

Tuesday, October 20, 2015

Look What I Did!

So, this happened. :)
Yep, I joined Planet Fitness this weekend. Dan is a member and totally loves it, so I figured I would give it a try. Pat will be my normal workout buddy, and we will go as often as we can when David is home. When D can't make it home at a reasonable hour, I'll have to go by myself or find another buddy to take, but it's a start. I'm too cheap to let my whole $20 go to waste, so that is just extra motivation, right?
 I've decided that I will never be good at working out at home. And that's not a character flaw, I'm just busy and often distracted, and always interrupted, so if I need to join a gym to get my workouts done, then let's do that.
We've been a few times already and I"m really enjoying it. I'm trying ALL. THE. THINGS.
Treadmills? Check
Ellipticals? Check
Stair Climbers? Heck NO
Weight lifting machines? Check
30 minute cardio circuit? Check
Hydro-massage? Check
Recumbent Bikes? Check
Total Body Enhancement thing a ma bobber? Check
I'll keep you posted on the long term results  :)


Saturday, October 17, 2015

And Just Like That... {Week 13 Update}

Dan is gone.

This week has hurried on by in a flurry of activities and I didn't have time to dwell on missing Dan as much as I have been recently. A had 2.5 days off of school meaning I worked many extra hours, Columbus Day happened (upsetting my routines) and DT had a play date with a friend. DT and I worked hard on cleaning up the yard Tuesday evening, which also was a great night for a bonfire and s'mores with the BIGS. Sister-Girl Night was changed to Wednesdays in addition to Youth Group and Zero Gravity for the BIGS. DT and I started small group on Thursdays. Game Night on Friday, followed by a middle of the night trip to Wal-Mart that resulted in some new friends. And today we had Gym Magic, a haircut for ME, some random errands, a fun late lunch with the boys, and playing outside together. AND...Pat and I joined Planet Fitness. Phew. 
In the midst of all that; we included a breakfast with a friend, haircuts for EVERYONE ever, I read 2 books, kept up on a few cleaning/organizing challenges in the homemaking arena, had pizza and movies together, looked at apartments with DK and tried to get back to a good sleeping schedule (but I failed miserably on that point this week).
Overall, I think it's reasonably safe to say that while I continue to miss Dan, we have hit our stride. The ache is still there, but we are both learning to deal by making new friends or reconnecting with old friends, and staying busy.
Thanksgiving is just around the corner.
        ~Lonely Only in NM~

Saturday, October 10, 2015

And Just Like That... {Week 12 Update}

Dan is gone.

This week was weird for me. I had lots of feelings, and many I wasn't quite sure what to do with them. I was lonely and bored and irritable and overtired and well, I was actually a little angry at Dan this week. I KNOW that this isn't reality, but sometimes it feels like he's off on some vacation type thing. Practically no bills, no chores, no kids to parent, no wife to deal with, all while I"m here slaving away and doing EV-ER-Y-THING while he's away. Now, before I start getting lectures, I KNOW that is not reality. I get that he's working 60 hours a week, and on his one day "off" he's driving an hour to attend church and then helping a new friend build a house and he's completely exhausted. I KNOW that he's missing home, our friends, the boys, and even crazy old me. BUT, that's just how I felt this week. Also, Dan is a helper. So as he's calling me with helpful advice that I SHOULD appreciate, I find myself feeling micro-managed and even a bit like perhaps Dan thinks I can't do this on my own. (The irony is not lost on me that several times a day *I* wonder if I can do this alone but that is not the point. *ahem*)
I was also still processing the whole My-baby-is-now-a-MAN thing and that brought feelings that I would have really liked to share with Dan in person, not over the phone.
On the whole, in the practical areas, I feel like I'm getting the hang of this and I can do this for the long haul (Come quickly, summer of 2016) but I just miss him. I miss hanging out on the couch with him after dinner, I miss laughing over the antics our boys share with us, I miss snuggling together after a long day of parenting this brood and the several others that claim us as parents or long term care givers. I miss making his lunch in the mornings and sharing 5 whole minutes of child-free time with him each day. Blah. Being a grown up stinks sometimes. ;)
However, as I am often found to be saying, "...and it came to pass...". Someday, this season of change and growth will be but a distant memory.
Until next week,
    ~Lonely Only in NM~

Saturday, October 3, 2015

And Just Like That... {Week 11 Update}

Dan is gone.

I can't believe it's already been 11 weeks; 5 more than Dan has ever been gone for work, and 4 more than our time apart when we moved here. We are adjusting...slowly (especially me). But, things are improving. I am learning to set my boundaries without being a jerk about them. (In times past, I just let Dan set the boundaries and without him around I spent several weeks being a spineless sap) I am remembering skills I used to have that have been out of practice for 20 years. And I"m learning new skills, like how to trim the rose bushes that have been intimidating me since Dan left. I've trimmed them 3 times, and I think (I HOPE) I'm getting the hang of it. Pat and I have several 'successful' chats a week now, shoot, sometimes we have more than one a day. *grins* I am sleeping through the night on a regular basis, even though I'm still staying up later than I should. However, I think part of that is just to carve out some time for just me, since I"m the only one parenting these days and I NEED some child free time each evening. Overall, I think we are getting the hang of it. Dan has a roommate as of this week and I think he's not as lonely, at least that is why I'm telling myself he isn't calling quite as often. I am setting up some 'Daddy's Gone Traditions" like the boys and I go out to dinner on Thursday night, so that we all get to the table together once a week. We're still doing our pizza and movies on Sundays but that is pretty flexible and sometimes it just doesn't happen. So we're enjoying Thursday nights out to laugh and talk over a delicious dinner made my someone besides me. Having hilarious, handsome dinner dates every week doesn't hurt my feelings at all.
The biggest highlight of this week concerning Dan was we bought his plane ticket home for Thanksgiving so that is a FOR SURE visit coming up. Woot!
Biggest bummer concerning Dan this week is that today is David's birthday. His 18th birthday. Now, in case you don't know, David hates any attention that he doesn't intentionally invite, and birthdays are a HUGE no-no in the attention department. There is no celebration, no singing of the birthday song, no balloons, no gifts and in fact, he's working 11 hours today, so it's not so much that Dan being away will affect David's day so much. But our first child is becoming an adult today, and I can't share that with Dan. So boo to that.
Thanks for taking this journey with me. I'm growing so much it seems and blogging about it feels like the right choice.
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