Dan is gone.
This is hard. Hard to do on my own. Hard to process. Hard to handle. Hard to keep my head above water some days. But it's a season of growth/change and I'm trying to embrace it. I'm learning more than ever that I must take care of me so I can continue to care for others. I am learning that it's OK to put off housework and even schoolwork occasionally in the name of a much needed visit from a friend for some chatter, some tea and some prayer to keep me fighting the good fight. I've learned/remembered that I like pretty nails. I've also remembered that proper sleep habits are essential to keeping myself emotionally on an even keel. (still working on this one) Healthful eating also helps, but at the end of the day, here is my version of reality.
Dan has been gone 18 weeks. (Say that over again to yourself, really slowly and let it sink in)
Eighteen weeks.
126 days.
3024 hours.
181,440 minutes. And every single one of those minutes felt like a short eternity.
Now that you know I'm the most pathetic woman alive, let me tell you what else you should know about me.
That I CAN do this. That God is holding my hand and leading me down this path. And that the very same God that is holding my hand and giving me strength is also holding Dan's. We are all together on this journey. Hopefully someday, we'll be able to look back at this time that feels like a big fat mess right now as a period of immense growth. Not only in our journey as a married couple, but as individuals growing closer to our God. God is so good. He's protecting us (sometimes even from ourselves) as we jumble and stumble and bumble our way through this world. Separately for now, but soon enough back together again. May he continue to weave our hearts together in the combined pursuit of His glory.
Not as lonely as I thought in NM,
~Kristy~
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